Is that possible? Could a human really hit an actual boiling point where one’s internal organs/blood boil? If it’s possible, it think I was pretty close yesterday.
It had nothing to do with my internal state of emotional stability. No, I’m really talking about temperature. I know I was waaaaay above 98.6.
Here’s some background:
I have the pleasure of partaking in a kid swap. A friend of mine also has a daugher in Aiden’s preschool class. From day one, we decided we’d take turns every other Wednesday watching eachother’s 3 year olds. She’d take mine one week, I’d take hers the next and we’d possibly have two Wednesdays a month, for two hours, without kids. Are you following this?
Yesterday, I had her daughter. It truly is a joy for me because, as you’re very aware, I have no daughters of my own (click here and here for proof). I’ve been given approximately five hours a month to take care of a princess. It’s so fun! I get to listen to things from a little girl’s perspective and let me tell you, it rarely involves sound effects akin to the launch pad at Kennedy Space Center.
So, because I had a very hectic start to my week, I HAD to take these two three-year olds to the store with me. I wasn’t necessarily worried because this little girl is very sweet and obedient and I knew if all else failed I could burry my son under all of the groceries in the cart to keep him quiet. 
The temperature issue became very apparent to me about fifteen minutes into our trip. October in Iowa is a tricky wicket. You see, at 7:10am in the morning when I’m rushing my oldest out the door to school it’s generally around 40 degrees. Crisp. Cool. Chilly. THEN, three hours later, all has changed and suddenly it’s 65 degrees outside. Warm. Balmy. Damp. Humid. Armpit challenging. Blech.
I struggle every morning with what to wear. I am often more cold than warm so I generally choose to overdress for the approaching noon temperature. This was my downfall yesterday.
As I meandered my way through the aisles of the grocery store I felt myself gradually becoming uncomfortable. My wrists had a thin layer of sweat building up as did my neckline. Off came the North Face fleece. Phew.
We made it through a few more aisles when I accidently ran over princess toes. Temporary setback. She recovered nicely and we continued on our way. However, due to the increase in my adrenaline from the accident, my internal temperature rose another few degrees. I started to get what I believe to be hot flashes. I could feel my face turn red and then cool off…and then it would repeat again. I’m guessing I was at a 99.3 at this point.
We got to the final few aisles of the grocery store and both kids were DONE shopping. They wanted (and probably needed) a snack at this point and both of them decided their legs were done working as well. So, princess got the seat up front in her chariot (the cart) and prince charming was hoisted up onto my shoulders. Everyone was once again content except for my body temperature. My mercury was rising and I started to feel faint. I think my toes were sweating.
We had reached the checkout and both kids were great about helping me load the groceries onto the belt. Prince charming even tossed a nice heavy frozen chunk of meat on top of my bread. Aren’t three year olds so helpful? I practiced speaking calmly and patiently while my insides were on fi-yah!
I paid my bill and it was at that point I realized…I forgot to pick up the picture I had developed for Josh’s birthday. The photo department is in the back of the store. The checkout was in the front of the store. The hungry and immobile three year olds were with me at the front of the store. Prince charming had the SpongeBob Squarepants Cheez-Its clutched in his fists with a menacing look on his face. This challenge wasn’t going to be easy or temperature friendly.
I asked the cashier if I could leave my cart at the front of the store while we ran to the back of the store to pick up the photo. I hoisted prince charming and his Cheez-Its up again on my sweaty neck. I grabbed princess and lifted her up in front of me. I slung my purse on my shoulder and made a mad dash for the back. It’s kind of like the last 100 meters in a 400 meter dash. You’re so tired from sprinting the first 300 meters but you KNOW you must give it all you’ve got to reach the finish line. I kept reciting, “Feel the burn, feel the burn,” as I bee-lined to the back of the store. And boy did it burn.
We retrieved the picture. I left a puddle of sweat in front of the photo counter. The kids were giddy with excitement from the free human carnival ride, we dashed back to the front of the store and we grabbed the cart and headed to the van.
After loading up the starving munchkins and all of my groceries (internal temperature now reaching the boiling point), I flop into the driver’s seat and melt. The kids get their snack and I drive around the WalMart parking lot a few times with my window completely down looking like this:
I write all of this for a few very simple reasons. First, to remind myself what my days looked like during this time period of my life. Everyone keeps telling me I’ll laugh about this some day. I want to make sure I accurately remember all of the details before buying into that promise.
But, more importantly, to encourage myself when I start to feel down about what I don’t accomplish during the day. Most people don’t have to grocery shop while balancing toddlers on their head.
